Is what you're doing, helping or harming you?

Mar 01, 2023

Resilient people ask themselves, "is what I'm doing helping or harming me?"

This is a powerful question that should become a go-to question during your most challenging days.  In fact, you might ask it again and again and again. . .


Should you do ____?

Would that help me?

Or would it harm me? 


Your answer may be obvious for you. And, someone else might handle it differently based on their needs.  So, be sure that 'You do you.'  Be kind to yourself and honor your needs.  There is no right or wrong way - simply your way.


'Is the way I'm thinking and acting, helping or harming me?" 

This one  question can make a huge impact on your life and can be applied to so many different contexts:

  • in your quest to get one agility run where your dog stays with you in the ring, 
  • in pursuit of qualifying for the agility national championships,
  • to recover from an injury
  • learning to adjust to a new way of living
  • so many different ways. 


Whether it is forgiving family transgressions, arguments from the past, scrolling through social media, or whether you really need that extra glass of wine.  . .

Simply ask yourself, "whether what you're doing, the way you're thinking, or the way you're acting is helping or harming you". 


This question puts you back in the driver's seat. It gives you some control over your decision-making again. 


Simple Strategies.

Readily available to us anytime, anywhere, and they aren't rocket science.


Resilience isn't some fixed trait. It's not something elusive that some people have and some people don't. It actually requires very ordinary processes. Just the willingness to give these strategies a try!


I won't pretend that thinking this way is easy. And it doesn't remove all the pain. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you think there's 'no way I'm coming back from this' I urge you to lean into these strategies and think again.

But if it's one thing that I've learned over the years, it is that this way of thinking really does help more than anything. It has shown me that it IS possible to live and grieve at the same time.  I CAN focus on the good things in my life.  And I can love again.  And for that, I will be always grateful.



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